Their whole lifestyle had been built on credit, appearances, and a series of financial decisions they refused to discuss with anybody. My father had been a regional sales manager for a medical supply company until he was laid off at sixty. He never found another job at the same salary. But he and my mother kept living exactly the same way: the country club membership at $14,000 a year, the leased Mercedes, the trips to Naples, Florida, every February, the catered Christmas parties.
They refinanced the house twice. Then they took out a home equity line of credit. Then, I would learn much later, they borrowed against the house a third time for something they never talked about.
By the time they finally admitted to me that they were in trouble, the bank had already foreclosed. The house was going to be sold.
They were terrified. Not of being homeless. They were terrified that someone from the country club would find out.
I was seven months pregnant with Leo. I was building my consulting business from a desk in the corner of my one-bedroom apartment in Astoria, Queens. Some months, I worked until sunrise. I knew exactly how many invoices had to clear before I could afford groceries.
But I’d been saving. I’d been saving for five years, every spare dollar I made, for a bigger apartment, maybe someday a little house. By then I had $168,000 in a high-yield savings account and an investment account. Two big clients had just paid me, a chain of dental offices and a regional furniture store, both for full website redesigns.
I knew my parents would never accept help from me directly. My father had once told me, at a family dinner, to stop giving him financial advice because I “didn’t understand anything about real money.”
So I didn’t offer it directly.
