Before I left, Cedric asked me something.
“Do you think Mom regrets taking me in?”
“No. Whatever happened back then, she loves you.”
“Then I want to hear the rest from her.”
Cedric asked me something.
“I’ll make sure you do.”
***
Back at the restaurant, Paige was sorting supplies.
I took a box from her.
“Leave that. We need to finish our conversation.”
“I’ll make sure you do.”
“I wrote you a letter back then,” she said. “I couldn’t give it to you.”
“Can you say it now?”
She returned from the office with a folded page. I read it across from her.
“I heard you say you couldn’t keep living like this. I thought you meant our marriage.
When Cedric came, I was afraid you’d agreed to take him in because you thought it would keep me happy.”
I looked up.
“I thought you meant our marriage.”
“Paige, I wasn’t talking about leaving you.”
She pressed her lips together.
“I heard you on the phone that night.”
After another painful appointment, I’d told a friend, “I can’t keep living like this.”
I meant the silence between us, not our marriage.
“I can’t keep living like this.”
I feared Paige would leave me.
“I meant I couldn’t stand seeing us hurt each other anymore,” I said.
“You stopped talking to me. You worked late every night.”
“I thought coming home and bringing up children would make things worse.”
I feared Paige would leave me.
“Instead, I sat there wondering whether you still wanted our marriage.”
I lowered the letter.
“And when Cedric came, you thought I only agreed because of you?”
She nodded.
“That’s why I called Damian. I wanted Cedric somewhere he wouldn’t have to wonder whether both adults wanted him.”
She nodded.
“Why didn’t you give me this?”
“By the time I felt ready, you and Cedric were inseparable. I thought we’d moved past it.”
“We never talked about it, Paige.”
“I know. I was ashamed I’d doubted you.”
I sat beside her.
“I thought we’d moved past it.”
“I should’ve asked instead of burying myself in work.”
Then I told her about my conversation with Cedric.
Her expression changed.
“He thinks I wanted to get rid of him?”
“He wants to hear it from you.”
Her expression changed.
She stood.
“Then let’s call him.”
***
Cedric came over the following evening.
Paige explained why she’d contacted Damian.
She stood.
“I was worried about the wrong things,” she admitted. “I never wanted you to feel unwanted.”
Cedric studied her.
“You could’ve asked what I wanted.”
“You’re right.”
Cedric studied her.
“I wish you’d told me,” Cedric said.
“I wish I’d handled it differently,” Paige replied.
“I remember your arguments. I thought I cost too much.”
“You weren’t the problem,” I said.
“I wish you’d told me.”
“I didn’t know that at 16.”
Paige took his hand. “I’m sorry.”
“I need some time.”
“Of course, honey,” Paige said.
Cedric stood, then looked at me.
“I’m sorry.”
“You both keep saying you wanted me here. But you never asked what I wanted back then.”
I had no answer.
“And now you’re deciding whether I can help with the restaurant.”
He picked up his jacket.
“When are you going to let me make my own choices?”
I had no answer.
